Posted at 5:59 am on December 21, 2010 by Brandie
Every year 3 elves descend upon our house. If you are not blessed enough to have an elf come to your house, let me tell you how elves work. They come to us after they have finished all their work for Santa, which almost always happens on December 1. Every night before bed, the kids leave them crackers and water and sprinkle them with special snowflakes. And in the middle of the night, they get up and usually cause a bit of a mess. Sometimes, they help out a bit, but in general they like to get up and have fun.
So last week, my oldest (who is 11 and has left me wondering for the last 2 Christmases, will this be the last year she believes? Because she’s getting older. And when she does start asking questions, what will I say?) started asking questions. How come the tag says made in China? How come the snowflake container says contains paper. How do these elves really work.
However, she asked these questions in front of her siblings (who are 4 and 8) and still have zero doubts in their mind, so I quickly stumbled out some thoughts – Well, the tags are on the clothes dear. The elves must shop in China. Well the snowflake container says that because they are like paper, but Santa’s magic turns them into snowflakes for the elves. I stammered out these excuses, positive she could see right through me because I had no pre-practiced answers (in truth, I never even thought about the tags or I would have cut them off).
But then, then came the big one “Mom, is it really dad and you doing the elves?”
I wasn’t ready. I mean I was, she’s 11, so it was coming, but I wasn’t ready. I said no (because the younger ones). And then told husband about it when he got home. We decided we should tell her. She was asking, we figured she really knew but needed confirmation. So we put the other kids to bed and I sat down to tell her.
Me: So I lied to you today, when you asked about the elves. It really is dad and I.
Her: :::look of disbelief and shock on her face::: What? You lied! No, it can’t be you
Me: Well, um, yeah, but it is.
Her: Oh great. Next you’ll tell me you made up Baby Jesus too. And maybe he hangs out with unicorns or something.
No, I can’t make this stuff up. And by now I’m totally regretting telling her because she has tears coming out of her eyes. And then she asks why would we lie to her. I tell her we do it to make Christmas more fun and magical and to give her some great memories. And she says – now tears flowing out of her eyes – in a very snotty tone of voice “And where do you buy them? We lie to our kids dot com?” At this point she starts (badly) fake laughing. And tells me the tears are because she’s laughing so hard because it’s all just. so. very. funny. mom. And my heart is absolutely breaking. And I feel horrible. And we’ve clearly just screwed up her entire Christmas and I shouldn’t have told her.
Then she asks if I lied about Santa. And seeing how well everything has gone so far, I told her “Of course not!” Well, what would you have done?