The Preschooler Nap Dilemma
Posted at 6:39 am on February 23, 2010 by Farrah
If you have a preschooler, you know exactly what I am talking about. Do you or don’t you put your probably-needs-a-nap-but-will definitely-fight-it 3 or 4 or 5 year old down for the rest that their body probably really needs?
My older son is almost four. He is your typical head-strong, rambunctious, very active little boy who is convinced that he never needs a nap. He is also a very early riser, never sleeping past seven and usually up before six. Our mornings are always filled with activity whether it be an outing with friends or preschool or rowdy play on the train table in the basement. Some days, he is fine and is able to get through lunch time without any emotional breakdowns or crazy, over-tired behavior. But there are days when I just know that he is tired and NEEDS a nap to refresh his body. On those days and even on the days when he is staying pretty even-keeled, if I sit with him and rub his legs or sing quietly I can usually get him to fall asleep for a nap no matter how much he insists that he is not tired and just wants “quiet time.” I love the quiet of both boys napping at the same time. I also really love being able to close my eyes for a second if I am needing a little refueling too. I REALLY love that time. But the problem comes later. If he does nap, he usually sleeps for 1-2hours. And no matter how long he naps, he has a hard time going to bed at night. He stays up later, the bedtime process becomes way more involved and he STILL wakes up super early the next morning. So whatever replenishment his body got during the nap is undone by a late bedtime and early rising.
So skip the nap you say? Well, have you seen an over-tired boy at 4 or 5pm? It is not a pretty site. He doesn’t get slow and sleepy. He gets crazy and loud and aggressive. Mealtime becomes a battle- he doesn’t eat as well at dinner. He gets whiny and needy but yet is running like a crazy man around the house which only encourages his brother and the dog to do the same. Chaos.
So as you can see, I have a dilemma here. Put him down for a nap and risk a too late bedtime and further night-time sleep pattern disturbance? OR skip the nap and deal with a crazy, over-tired, emotional little boy from about 3:30 to 7 when we can’t take it any longer and put him to bed. Neither are ideal.
What do you do? Does your preschooler nap everyday or maybe sometimes or absolutely never? I am certainly open to suggestions. Our current way of deciding if it is a nap day or a quiet time day is very hap-hazard. It depends on how the morning went and if he napped the previous day and what we have planned for the evening. Should I drop the nap all-together which means also dropping my sanity-restoring hour of quiet? (Quiet time in our house usually involves a trip downstairs after about 20min to ask Mommy to read to him or play cars with him- How can I refuse that?) Any words of wisdom are appreciated.
It is a dilemma for sure… a preschool nap dilemma.
no idea but i know very well what you are going through. have a glass of wine- it at least makes it funnier!
Its SO TRUE. And complicated for me to because if (ha ha!!) they both sleep at the same time I’m supposed to be working! But M is not home this evening so I wasn’t going to put him down so I could have an early evening…and he fell asleep. So that means he’ll be up well past nine, by which time I’ll be about asleep myself…
When my nearly 4 year old falls asleep (maybe 2x a month max) she’s always up til at least 9 sometimes 10 pm. For you it sounds like your guys actually NEEDS a nap-i wonder if a crazy early bedtime might help? supposedly he might need that extra sleep and even though the early bedtime seems counter-intuitive it might actually help. Maybe half an hour to an hour earlier might do the trick. I think it’s worth a shot. Good luck!
Sounds like you may just be in a transition period. We have been there with Hobbes for quite a while. I usually decide based on what our evening will be like. If I need him to stay up later because we are going to be out or at the in-laws’, then I try to get him down for a nap. If not, I just try to put him to bed as early as possible. Calvin was much worse in the late afternoons during this transition phase than Hobbes is. Hobbes is usually just whiny or crying, but Calvin was wild like Lucas.
One thing that does help is to really enforce rest time in the afternoon. I am not great at this, but when I am, it really helps. Often kids don’t need a nap (or it interferes with bedtime) as much as they need some non-stimulating down time. If they learn to take that and recharge, they can often get through the day.
I insist on at least a half an hour for Hobbes, usually 45 minutes to an hour, and no matter how sweet he is when he comes out to ask if it is over or if I can play with him, I make him go back to his room. He is allowed to have books or some sort of quiet toy in his bed until I release him. If he tries to get me in there, I just tell him that I will be glad to do it when quiet time is over. It helps that Calvin also has a quiet time, Linus is napping, and I make that time my quiet/rest time too.